Blushing, Shyness and Social Fears and Phobia

Shyness/blushing or feeling self-conscious is very normal in social situations because we all want to be accepted and respected by people around us. But when these feelings persist after a few minutes they start increasing and then we feel self-conscious about our self-consciousness, we then blush even more because of our initial blushing and the situation seems end in a vicious circle.

Blushing is either a conditioning from early childhood where the criticisms, judgements, comments have focused too much on what we cannot do, what we are not good at and definitely what we are bad at……….always!! We end up growing with a very critical, judgemental inner parental voice that is always telling us we are going to make a fool of ourselves; despite our conscious mind fighting those messages and reading a number of self-help books to improve our self-confidence, self-esteem, we always seem to go back to square one: we stammer, we blush we sweat profusely in strange places, with strangers around and in social situations.

But then it is true that along with the inner critical parental voice we also have the inhibited, fearful, ashamed, self-conscious inner child who has accepted those harsh judgements and programmed his/her mind to believe that he/she is the most inferior, least talented, insignificant person around; or else he/she has compensated for those feelings by building a very hard shell of arrogance, pride and superiority around so that nobody will even see the vulnerability, shame and fears inside.

The years pass by and the programming keeps blocking the opportunities for that person to show their potentials; the chances to stand up and do a presentation, the chances to charm/persuade a public, the chances to make long lasting friendships/relationships.

How can Hypnotherapy help?

Hypnotherapy works directly with the right brain that controls our instinctive and emotional responses; which is why despite logically trying to calm yourself you may have found that the right brain refuses those commands and seems to have a life and reactions of its own! The right brain responds to a very deep relaxed state which is why you find you are achieving more work in a state of calm. When it comes to symptoms e.g. fear of presentations, fear of sickness, blushing, insomnia, IBS, stress created disorders, we have lost that ability to relax enough to listen to our logical explanations; we can only respond from the "fear" triggers in our unconscious brain.

Hypnosis is a state of mind where the unconscious/right brain is more powerful and this happens naturally for all of us when we are on a beach, driving, dancing or listening to music. Yet when in a destructive mode we go into worrying, panicking, and responding in a symptomatic way. All we do is based on old habits or defences we have learnt to protect ourselves with in the short term.

Hypnotherapy works directly with the right brain which is where we store our unconscious habits of responding to the world. Healthy responses are driving, dancing or singing that after a while have become unconscious ways of behaving. Unhealthy responses are reactions that are defences against stress, anxiety or even anger e.g. nail biting, eczema, skin diseases, insomnia, anger bouts or tics and stammering. Hypnotherapy can help clients  let go of those alarming triggers that create even more alarm bells and set the body into a state of "fear and flight" (as if their life is in danger and they need to escape) and bring about a state of deep relaxation.  

 Hypnosis help the unconscious mind regain the safety and trust that the world is worth exploring; we all know this logically but the logic only works for the left brain and when the unconscious brain goes into alarm and creates phobias (spiders, heights, closed spaces, presentations) the logic fails and the client finds that he/she is saying “come on relax!” but the body is responding hypnotically to the right brain’s fear and not the logic of the left brain!

So if you suffer with shyness, embarrassment, blushing, going red, social phobia or any other dread of your reaction in work or social situations hypnotherapy can offer a way out.