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UNDERSTANDING CO-DEPENDENCY
~ Freedom from Co-dependent Issues with Hypnosis ~

Authored by Tricia Woolfrey

What is Co-Dependency?
Co-dependency is a little-understood trait which is defined as a compulsion to take care of others, wanting to �fix� them, whilst neglecting the self.

Co-dependents tend to live their life through, or for, others. Because of this they can tend to be controlling and will be apt to blame others rather than taking personal responsibility.

It is common in those who come from dysfunctional families and their parents may be addicts of some kind, ie alcohol or drugs.

Depression, anxiety, dysfunctional relationships and a high or low activity level are common in co-dependents. There may also be physical problems associated with the condition such as stomach problems, migraines, general malaise and skin problems.

Common characteristics of co-dependents:

Anxiety

Taking care of others at the expense of self

Unable to trust own feelings

An overdeveloped sense of responsibility for others

Guilt (a feeling of not doing enough for others)

Depression

Isolation

Workaholic

Perfectionism

No clear boundaries

Low-self esteem

Approval seeking

Not taking responsibility for own actions

Difficulty in maintaining relationships

Over-reactiveness

Impulsivity

Resentment of authority

Fear of anger

Defensiveness

Enjoys drama in their lives

Confusion between love and pity

Compulsion to �fix� or �rescue� others

Rigidity and the need to control

Lies when easy to tell the truth

Poor relationship choices

Strong sense of injustice for others but a disregard to those done to self

Difficulty in receiving

A sense of self derived from others

Accepting abuse to avoid loneliness

Non-assertive with regard to their own needs

Avoidance of feelings

Good intentions

Problems with intimacy

Heightened awareness of threat/danger

A resistance to having fun

They will often look for victims to help and will go to great lengths to �protect� them, ie lie for them, give them money, clear up after them or put them to bed even when they have been abused by them. This is colluding with the problem and only serves to exacerbate it.

Tips for overcoming co-dependency

Allow others to take the consequences of their own actions - be supportive of others but not responsible for them

Identify your own needs and fulfil them

Start to be responsible for your own life and actions

Become aware of your own feelings and what they are trying to tell you � ie, if you are angry, ask yourself what isn�t fair? Then take actions to remedy the situation without controlling others

Take care of yourself

Let go of the need to be involved in �fixing� others� lives

Find things about yourself that you can love

Be clear of your boundaries and others� boundaries

Find out what makes you happy

Have fun

It is fairly difficult not to be co-dependent to some degree in our society but the measure is to what degree is it colluding with others� problems and to what degree is it denying your own needs?

How Can Hypnotherapy Help?
Hypnotherapy can help deal with the underlying cause of the co-dependency and help you to understand your own needs and feelings and deal with those in a more constructive way. It can help you to establish healthier ways of interacting with others, yourself and the world, as well as giving you the confidence and assertiveness to build a fulfilling life not dependant on others.

Suggested reading:
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, M Beattie (San Francisco, Harper)

Secret Language of Feelings, Cal Banyan. Available from Tricia Woolfrey

Tricia Woolfrey 5-Path & 7-Path Hypnotherapist
Harley Street, London & Surrey

Email: tricia@pw-hypnotherapy.co.uk
Website: http://www.pw-hypnotherapy.co.uk

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UNDERSTANDING CO-DEPENDENCY ~ Freedom from Co-dependent Issues with Hypnosis ~

UNDERSTANDING CO-DEPENDENCY
~ Freedom from Co-dependent Issues with Hypnosis ~